So, you want to start growing a beard ….

You’ve decided it’s time to join the brotherhood of beard. The fellowship of fuzz. The horde of hirsute heroes…. The kinship of, erm …. You get the picture.  The time has come to stop shaving and embrace the thatch. I believe that every guy should give growing a beard a shot at least once in his life.

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Me in full Beard Mode


My beard journey began just before my son was born – I was too busy building a home nursery and tending to a heavily pregnant wife to bother with grooming. I kept it after my lad was born because I’d grown fond of the fuzz, not to mention the lack of maintenance required. Also, the sprog had never seen me without it – who knows, if I got rid of it he could’ve mistaken me for the milkman.


Growing your first beard requires commitment. It’ll start to itch like crazy. In fact, you’ll want to scratch your chin off. But stick with it sirs, because this short period will soon pass and you’ll have built the character needed to rock the bitchin’ beard you desire.

The time it will take to grow your full beard differs from man to man – and depends on the style you’re going for. For example, it takes me 2-3 weeks to grow a decent length that doesn’t look like I’ve just sellotaped velcro to my mandible …

So, you’ve grown your beard. Congratulations. But the work is really just beginning. You should treat your face fuzz like, say, a vintage Rolls Royce. Or, perhaps more fittingly, the grass at Wimbledon.

General beard maintenance

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Random Bloke Trimming his mush

My first recommendation would be to invest in a decent beard trimmer with a guide (a plastic attachment that alters trimming length, not a how-to leaflet). I use the Philips OneBlade Pro that has a great comb attachment to cover the blades and lets you select a length setting using the twist dial. It’s rechargeable and only needs a new blade every three months or so.  You can find some fantastic alternatives out there so read plenty of reviews and invest fully in the thatch lifestyle.

Secondly, grab some decent beard oil (take a look at companies like Beard PioneerCossack Beard Oil (uk based company) or legends like Three Peaks Beard for you guys in the US of A,   This genius invention conditions your new best friend, keeping the itches at bay, but it also makes it soft to the touch – a big plus if you have a significant other. Make sure to apply your beard oil of choice daily to give that bad ass texture.

Growing a beard will hopefully go down a treat with your significant other


The finishing touches

Finally, it’s worth investing in a decent set of beard scissors and a comb to ensure you can deal with those damn stragglers that seem to appear from nowhere. Here’s where you need to invest time. Isolate the offending hairs and trim to the length of the rest of your thatch. You’ve come this far – it’s worth that bit of extra effort to achieve perfection.

So there you have it. You’re ready to embrace the thatch and embark on growing a beard.  Go forth. Be confident. Join your brothers in beard out there in the big bad world. Stop them, compliment them – ask them what their secret to their glossy sheen is. But don’t touch! That’s the first rule of Beard Club. And the second rule is …  Hopefully you’ll get that reference. Anyway, welcome to the club.